152 insights into my soul

So Todd from work tells me, "I better see a review on gtg tomorrow!" A review of what? The Pink Pony, of course! I know some peeps are all, "Strip clubs?! Wot a waste of money!" Yeah, you can just surf the net for hot nekkid chyx, but a live showing is a much cooler animal. And its not that expensive. I myself dropped a mere $100. And that included parking, cover charge and drinks!

So I gets there and go to what I was told to be the best vantage point to check out all the action in the club. I mean, sure, you can sit right at a stage and get a good view, but that gets expensive! You can get an up close and personal view once you find a girl to give you a lapdance. But I digress. I order a Roman coke and scan the stages (and the room in general) to check out all the strippers so I can determine which one will get my hard earned cash. Hey, if you have a lot of money, you don't have to worry about it, get all the girls you want. But I'm on a budget here, so I want to get my money's worth. Alas, that means only one (lucky!) lady will end up with the big dough. Speaking of big dough, I was initially next to a couple of high rollers who were most likely drug dealers. And one of them had this gaudy antenna on his cellphone that lit up and flash like those sneakers. But they must have gotten five or six different girls for lap dances. Like I said, I don't have that kind of cash, but they do. (prolly cause they're selling drugs to children, the bastards!)

Eventually, I meet up with Todd, who was going to impart to me the fine art of strip-clubbin'. One tidbit was how it was better to come later, because less stupid people are around. Namely, drug dealers and dumb-ass drunk frat boys. Some of these guys there, I'd shoot them if I saw them coming towards me in a dark alley. And then you have these boorish drunk frat-boys making rude comments towards the strippers and altogether making an ass of themselves. Its like stv('How rude!') These women are people inside too! Treat them with respect! Like, have some class! I was ready to bounce my glass of this one idiots head who was standing up and hollering lewd and lascivious comments because 1) he was blocking my view and 2) its very ungentlemanly behavior towards the ladies. Treat the bartenders and strippers good, and they'll treat you good in return! It just makes cents! (literally!) I even got a free drink.

There was a specialty act, porn star Tina Toy. She's really talented with the nunchuks. And pole-dancing (they should make it an olympic sport!) She also did this interesting trick where she was setting parts of herself on fire. Crazy! Anyways, I was there for a few hours. I had seen a couple of nice young thangs on the floor. I was waiting for acouple of them to be on stage so I could start tipping them and then ask for a lap dance. But alas, they never did! It was getting late, and I was worried I wouldn't find a good chick to drop my money on. Todd had already found a nice-assed girl who he says is the "best table dancer ever". And he should know. He's perused a lot of these places, and he's ancient, so that's a lot of places! Anyhoo, I'm sitting and nice-assed girl grabs me from behind and says qv('Alright!') Interestingly enough, she had spied me and remarked, "that guy looks like he's thinking qv('Alright!') So Todd was like, "That's his catch phrase!" But again, I digress. I was lamenting not having found the right stripper yet.

Fortuitously, this four-eyed nerd-girl looking blonde stripper started dancing on the closest stage to me. I had seen her earlier and thought she had a nice look. So I walk over and tip her and ask her for a dance. I drop a little more cash on her afterwards to see the goods while she danced on stage. Apparently, she's pierced AND shaved. Before anyone makes any remarks, that was a total coincedence! Its not like that was the deciding factor or anything. So she comes to me afterwards, and I get a five song lapdance which included two britney songs. qv('Alright!') And is it me, or is it easier to talk to a stripper? There's prolly a whole slew of psychological explanations, ranging from, "You're paying for her company, so she's prolly not gonna leave, no matter what stupid thing you say" to "she's nekkid, so she's got you beat in terms of things to be nervous about. Thus, there's no need to be nervous." Or mebbe its easier to come up with things to talk about. "How's business going for you tonight?" "Actually, not so well, sadly. Its been a slow night." I was a little skeptical, I thought she was doing pretty good. Or, "neat tattoo? What is it of?" Why do they call it the man in the moon? I mean, its seems less like a man in the moon than it does than the moon being some sort of sentient planetary object like Ego or Unicron or Sinistar. But I digress, for the third time.

I whole-heartedly recommend this place. As long as you spend your money wisely, you can have a good time without it burning a whole in your wallet. $100? You'll prolly spend as much at D&B or shooting shit. Its of comparable value, and you get tittie in the face. And if you somehow get a free trip, you'd be insane not to go!!