fidelity

[geebs]

So I was taking bowelsofhell's poll about that L-thingie. I looked at the results afterwards and saw I was the only one at the time who put down fidelity in a long term relationship as being negotiable. And I'm not saying that out of some desire to be able to sow my wild oats, its just the way I was raised. I mean, I was told everyone, especially men, cheat. Some are responsible, and won't fool around for the sake of the family, but they're thinking about it. And TV tells you similar things. Every relationship goes through rocky parts, and no matter what crazy things happen, like cheating or whatever, if two people really love each other, they can work through anything. Anything can be forgiven. Heh, its like cynicism and optimism rolled into one. The cynical part is saying that no one's perfect, people make mistakes, and anyone who hasn't had to deal with such things has just been very lucky. But then the optimist says anything can be worked through if two people really want to be together. Of course, mebbe I'm just an idiot. Having never been in a long-term relationship, who's to say that I'll really be as forgiving as I espouse myself to be upon being cheated on. I dunno, I just feel like people aren't perfect and they make mistakes. And in the case that they feel they'd rather be with someone else, oh well. Its their heart and you can't control it.

As for me referring to it as that L-word, I just don't like throwing it around when you're referring to it in the real sense. I mean, I love shooting. I love fighting. I love bacon cheeseburgers. But if I'm being for real, I don't want to cheapen its meaning by throwing it out non-chalantly. (plus, it leaves you vulnerable, and you know how I hate showing any signs of weakness!)

Comments

[bowelsofhell.livejournal.com]

Better.

Oh, and I think if you have kids, you start becoming responsible for more than just yourself. All that stuff I said about being weak, you need to take your vigilance to a whole other level. From what I've seen, stuff like affairs and divorce can really mess with a kid. You have a responsibility to your kids now. You don't like your marriage? Too bad. Perhaps you shouldn't have entered into it so hastily, and you definitely don't leave it once you've had children.


But it could be too late if you've already gone and been unfaithful at that point. If you can reconcile, more power to you, but staying in a bad marriage can actually be worse for the kids than if you split up and tried to build a better life apart. Should kids have to witness an absolutely awful cold marriage between two people who can no longer see eye to eye? I think that would be worse for their psyches.

[geebs.livejournal.com]

I think if you have a family, you should try your best to reconcile. But if its like you say and there's just no hope I guess the couple has to see what's best for the kids. If they're just gonna make each other and the kids miserable, perhaps they should separate. It all depends on the exact situation, I guess.