I blame John Q Vigilante
Aug. 14th, 2007 12:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geebsJoe Everyman slipping through a dimensional rift and somehow being able to overthrow the tyrannical despot ruling the land he ends up in, a feat the local freedom fighters haven't been able to accomplish in years?! cliffV('What's up with that?!') Of course, its not always slipping through a dimensional rift. Sometimes you manage to get a high score in some video game that is secretly a test to find the champion prophesied to free the land from the darkness consuming it.
That happened to me my sophomore year of high school. I like got a billion points in this space shooter game at the local arcade, and next thing I know this crazy old man tells me I won a prize. I follow him, and he kidnaps me and takes me into space! He tells me with my skill, surely I am the hero to save his king's domain from the invading hordes that not only threatened them, but would eventually come after Earth. At first, I was angry at such a deception, but then I met the hottie princess. So I'm all, "Sure, I have nothing better to do! I'll save the universe!" Being the bad ass that I am, I do. The princess was of course taken with my heroic countenance, and wished to marry me. On the night before our wedding however, she had to take care of some important matter and left me to my own devices. Alas, I got drunk at the bachelor party and her strumpet sister managed to seduce me. So when the princess went to talk to her sister about some last minute planning details, she ended up walking in on us.
The princess ran out of there so fast, I didn't even get a chance to say anything. Boy, was she upset! Or at least I thought she was. I go to apologize the next morning, and she's all "That was you?!" She had just thought her sister was doing another one of the palace guards and the reason she ran out of the room so quickly was because it was awkward!
Now that she knew I had cheated on her, it was really over! She took off in a spaceship and ended up getting herself killed because her eyes were so full of tears she couldn't see that meteor. I blamed myself and went into a fit of depression. The king sent me back to Earth, and I was just lucky he didn't kill me! Unfortunately, I had not totally beaten back the enemy invaders, and my services were required once again. But the death of the princess really shook me up. I tried playing the game but couldn't. I sucked! And if I couldn't beat a computer game, how was I to defeat a huge interstellar army? We would surely have been doomed if not for a mysterious and spiritual black man named Julius. I met him as he walked the earth, and he helped me through my darkness and convinced me I had what it took to save the universe. So I went back up there and kicked alien ass! Okay, not really.
That happened to me my sophomore year of high school. I like got a billion points in this space shooter game at the local arcade, and next thing I know this crazy old man tells me I won a prize. I follow him, and he kidnaps me and takes me into space! He tells me with my skill, surely I am the hero to save his king's domain from the invading hordes that not only threatened them, but would eventually come after Earth. At first, I was angry at such a deception, but then I met the hottie princess. So I'm all, "Sure, I have nothing better to do! I'll save the universe!" Being the bad ass that I am, I do. The princess was of course taken with my heroic countenance, and wished to marry me. On the night before our wedding however, she had to take care of some important matter and left me to my own devices. Alas, I got drunk at the bachelor party and her strumpet sister managed to seduce me. So when the princess went to talk to her sister about some last minute planning details, she ended up walking in on us.
The princess ran out of there so fast, I didn't even get a chance to say anything. Boy, was she upset! Or at least I thought she was. I go to apologize the next morning, and she's all "That was you?!" She had just thought her sister was doing another one of the palace guards and the reason she ran out of the room so quickly was because it was awkward!
Now that she knew I had cheated on her, it was really over! She took off in a spaceship and ended up getting herself killed because her eyes were so full of tears she couldn't see that meteor. I blamed myself and went into a fit of depression. The king sent me back to Earth, and I was just lucky he didn't kill me! Unfortunately, I had not totally beaten back the enemy invaders, and my services were required once again. But the death of the princess really shook me up. I tried playing the game but couldn't. I sucked! And if I couldn't beat a computer game, how was I to defeat a huge interstellar army? We would surely have been doomed if not for a mysterious and spiritual black man named Julius. I met him as he walked the earth, and he helped me through my darkness and convinced me I had what it took to save the universe. So I went back up there and kicked alien ass! Okay, not really.
