That makes us the richest people in Astoria

With me picking up SW2:XL last Wednesday, I'm back to my SW2 addiction. Actually played all of Toshiie and Sasaki's story modes, including their dream stages. Sasaki's dream stage is cool, he teams up with Musashi, happening upon a skirmish between Katsuie and Hideyoshi for Oda's amusent. So basically you kick both sides' asses, then Oda comes and you beat him down, then you turn on Musashi and take him out. My favorite kind of stage, nothing fancy to worry about, no one to worry about protecting, just you versus everybody and all you have to do is kill everything in your path. If only all the stages were that simple.

Toshiie's dream stage is pretty cool though too. Oda sets up a test for him at Edo castle. You start outside, and your objective is to take it. But the castle is also surrounded by other warlords, the Hojos, the Moris, Motochika, Yoshimoto, Kenshin, and Takeda. So you beat them all up to make them join your army before attacking the castle (and if you do it quick enough, you also get his fifth), and once you do that, you lay siege to the castle. After defeating all the officers outside, you can get into the keep where you face challenges on every floor- first you face the Mino Three, then 5 of the 7 Spears of Shizugatake, then Keiji, then Hideyoshi, then Shibata.

So got Toshiie's 5th from that, and have his and Kojiro's fourths also. Anyways, back to their story modes. Like I said, I liked Kojiro's story following his rivalry with Musashi, but while Toshiie looks bad ass, boy did they make him a whiny little bitch! Sanada's got nothing on him! The whole game he's all "Katsuie is so great, but he's a relic! On my path to greatness, Katsuie is doomed to extinction!" Its called growing up, loser! Even Katsuie says he's not long for this time and wants Toshiie to join up with Hideyoshi and make his name, even if it means Katsuie's death!

In a bit of cool coincidence, I had maxed out the best sumo and fire ninja bodyguards, so I switched to the next highest bodyguard I had selected (I had a lot of crappy level bodyguards at level 1 because I'm insane and was trying to max them all out also) which was a lady samurai at level 16. And it wasn't until near the end of Toshiie's story mode that it was his wife Matsu! Ha, I guess she's not a playable character, but I did not realize she was one of the bodyguards.

The Goonies is on as I typed this. Or rather the end. Things that bug me about the end that I've no doubt complained about before:

1) Chunk all, "You're coming home with me Sloth!" Yeah, right! Like his family wants to take in some giant, freakish looking retard! I mean, they're already a bunch of fatties, and now they need to spend more money feeding some huge-ass ogre!?

2) The dad ripping up the contract just because they have a marble bag full of jewels. Is he even sure that's enough to actually stop Troy's dad from buying up the Goondocks?

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Obligatory SW2 post of the day. Started playing Gracia. She starts out incredibly weak- you're liable to give up on her and proclaim her the suckiest character ever when you first play her. But I implore you to give her a chance. Once you level her up, she's one of the best characters out there. So, you'll have to hammer through some easy one star levels in the beginning. Her mounted attack is ridiculously powerful (she shoots frickin' fireballs, which are relatively strong), so that'll help you survive until you get her to about level 10, which is when she gets her self skill, letting her constantly be gaining musou. Which is important since she is a special-type character. But unlike the other special-type characters who just drop mines, she gets magical attacks.

Unlike "mage" type characters in the games before her, her magical attacks are actually useful and something you'll want to do often (not exclusively, as you don't regain musou that fast!). Her "weakest" magical attack, she fires three huge fireballs in an arc in front of her. They'll cause significant amounts of damage on officers when hit and most likely wipe out the peons with him. Her next magical attack, which I think is her most useful one, is an ice storm that hits all around her and sometimes freezes enemies. Her most powerful attack, which is good, but hard to hit with, is her "super magical Gracia beam", which will kill weaker officers and cause massive damage on stronger ones. She also has defensive spells, though I'm not exactly sure the bonuses they're providing. The second one is a shield, but the first and third are buffs, though I am unsure as to what kind of buffs. I'm worried what she'll be like in Warriors Orochi 2 or whatever the hell they're calling the new one that includes the SW2:XL characters plus Fu Xi, Nu Wa, and some others. Since "special-type" SW2 characters lose access to a lot of their moves (since they can't do R1+sq or tr) and particularly since there's no "self-skills", meaning Gracia doesn't have her "constantly regain musou" thing as always on, it seems like she'll work totally different. I mean, I think there's a skill that lets you constantly regain musou in WO, but that means she (and the rest of her group) have to give up a slot for that.

But I digress. I wanna say her fighting style is kinda mage-monk, as her normal attacks are all punches and kicks. Once you get her c5 though, then she really hits her groove. c5 is her meat and potatoes, as it ends with a 360 hit shockwave all around her. You basically just spam that along with her fireball and ice storm attacks and you'll be reaping through the enemy like a sickle through wheat. c2 and c4 are pretty good against single opponents as well.

Haven't played her story mode yet, but since Anegawa and Osaka Bay are on my normal level up routine and there's a lot of conversations that take place between her and Mago (as she calls him) as well as with her pops, Akechi, I assume that those are in her story mode. It seems like she's trying to be his sidekick, though people keep joking she's his girlfriend, even though she's like a teen and he's a grown man. Perverts! And it looks like she initially hides the fact that she's Akechi's daughter from Magoichi. Hmm, given the way the game has Honnoji go, with Akechi dueling Oda, but refusing to finish him off, but then Magoichi sniping Oda, I wonder how that all plays out. It seems like after that, Magoichi and Akechi were after each other, so that would put Gracia in the middle.

Oh, and had Big Bang Theory on while eating dinner. That show is just not funny! Though they did have a debate on why Skynet would build a hot teen chick terminator. ojv('Man, its obvious!') Who are people more likely to let their guard down in front of? The big hulking scary looking brute, or the sluttily dressed teen hottie-hot?!

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Frickin' Awesome, Dead Fantasy II is out. Personally, I think its the best of his videos so far. I mean, Haloid was cool, but when Samus and the Chick Spartan were starting to slaughter the lemmings, the action went by a little too fast to keep up with. I liked the first Dead Fantasy, but someone who's seen a lot of HK action cinema and Matrix-type movies will see it as familiar territory.

Dead Fantasy II, I think, is brilliant. Sure, more of the same martial arts action, but I think there's a bit of ingenuity in the choreography here. I've always said, one of the things I like seeing in a superhero movie are fights that really utilize the powers of those involved. I mean, with the things superheros can do, there's a lot of potential. The girls of FF have bv('Great Magicks!'), and I think its brilliantly woven in here. Take that one fight in "The One" for example, when things slow down for Jet Li, when in "reality" its just that he's moving so fast. I mean, the use of such iconic FF spells as "Stop" and "Haste" is an amusing and ingenious way to have such effects occur.

This time through, the DOA girls end up getting Rachel from Ninja Gaiden, who of course wields that gigantic battle axe, opening up new move possibilities (i.e. the kinda strong-brute style), while the FF girls get Rinoa from FFVIII and Kairi from Kingdom Hearts. Rinoa gets the angel wings from her Limit Breaks, as well as Squall's gunblade to use. I think she's made a little too godly here though. I mean, of powerful FF characters, I never really thought of her as one. But when she shows up, it feels as though she could mop up the DOA girls on her own!

Oh, as an aside, my whole mentioning "strong-brute" style reminded me of Princess Bride, which reminded me of last weeks Smallville, when Chief Tyrol had Clark in the Kryptonite cage and kept on messing with the setting. Whenever he would increase the threshold I kept thinking to myself, "No, not to 50!"

But I digress, the interweaving of martial arts, gunplay, powerful magic, and environmental effects into one amazing action sequence makes me think this is Monty Youm's greatest creation yet. I mean, a lot of it is stuff that has been seen in various other places, but not all interwoven together in a cool and cohesive manner.